How to set your boundaries

Setting your boundaries is one of the most important things to do before you get on screen for the first time. We cannot stress this enough! Know and set your boundaries. Do not budge. Clearly communicate them from the first talk and know that it’s acceptable and expected to stick to those boundaries. 

There’s a high degree of mutual respect that should be expected and expressed at all times in the adult film industry. The Adult Performer Advocacy Committee has compiled a fantastic Model Bill of Rights to help you understand the two-way street of professionalism in adult film. 

Ok, hopefully now you understand how important it is to know your boundaries and to feel comfortable standing by them. The next part is finding yours and deciding what yours are. 

Start by reflecting on your sexual experience. If you ever fooled around and explored some kinks, think about what you enjoyed and what made you feel uncomfortable. Watch some videos and look for what gets you excited that you can see yourself doing. It’s very important that you get excited and are into what you’re signing up to do on camera. If you aren’t comfortable or enjoying what you’re doing, it will come through on camera. 

Once you start finding things that you want to do on camera, think about those things that you’re curious about and willing to do, but have never done before. This may be a long list, but it should be well communicated from the beginning. 

It’s also important to know and understand that different types of content pay differently. For example, handjobs pay less than blowjobs, so on and so forth. Know that it’s ok to ask for a higher rate if you’re pushing your boundaries. 

Having a list of those things that you are absolutely not willing to do is A GOOD THING. YOU SHOULD HAVE THIS LIST MADE. Take some time and consider the things that you are absolutely not willing to do. It may even where you start making your list.

In short, you should have a three-column list. Make the first column the things that you’re excited and ready to do and have experience doing. Make the second column the things that you haven’t done, but you’re curious about and want to try. Make the third column those things that you are NOT going to do. Never forget you do not have to do anything that you don’t want to and didn’t agree to. “No” is a complete sentence. 

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